Question;
Could a person live with his/her spouse if their addiction runs counter to living a
Torah lifestyle?
Answer;
The following story happened to R’ Moshe Feinstein Zt”l and brought down in מסורות משה חלק א עמ'
רמט as it was related over to R’ Mordechai Tendler. A man walked into the yeshiva on Shabbos morning,
requesting a private audience with R’ Moshe. As they entered the man busted in tears, he wife that he
has been married to for so many years has been caught smoking cigarettes on Shabbos! The man asked
R’ Moshe should he divorce her as she is no longer a Shomer Shabbos and could no longer be trusted to
run a frum household (ex, kashrus, niddah). The man further explained that her doctor told him that his
wife is addicted to smoking, making it difficult for her to change.
R’ Moshe explained to the man that since his wife is suffering from an addiction, she does not lose her
נאמנות in all other areas of Torah and Mitzvos. Especially that she does so secretly and she just can’t
overcome her urges. Interesting to note that the exact date of this story is unknown, however it
definitely was not passed the 70’s where the awareness of addiction was not as it is today, but still R’
Moshe understood the extent of addiction. R’ Moshe further explains that the grip an addiction has over
a person is so strong that even if she were to smoke outside in public it would not disqualify her from
being believed in other areas of Torah.
R' Tendler asked R' Moshe how is it that she does not lose her נאמנות? R’ Moshe compared an addiction
to a mental sickness where the person has no strength to overcome their urges [just like someone who
is physically not well cannot perform as a regular person, so too someone who is mentally not well
cannot perform as usual].
R’ Moshe himself gave an example of a doctor that owned the building that R’ Moshe lived. This doctor
would smoke outside the building and once R’ Moshe saw the doctor and asked him why does he smoke
if its not healthy, the doctor replied that it helps him coup with the smell of the sick people he must deal
with on a daily basis. R’ Moshe replied that can’t be the reason, you must enjoy smoking and you cannot
break your habit, why would you do something dangerous just to repeal bad odors!
R’ Moshe concluded and said the man should not divorce his wife and wished his wife a Refuah
Shelamah!
From this מעשה we could learn several things:
1. An addict that is מחלל שבת due to their addiction may be trusted as a regular Jew in regards to
other Halachos.
2. An addiction is not grounds to divorce a spouse.
3. Mental illness and addiction are classified as a regular sickness as it is relevant to halacha.
4. One may wish another Jew who is suffering from addiction, Refuah Shelamah.
Note; the above information is not for practical use and each case must be determined by a
competent Rov.